right now for a proper one, at least i can think straight now, this morning i have opened my eyes and it seems like my brain is working again, not stuttering to get to the point,
i'm getting scared about the future, its strange, the thoughts that are going through my head, next week we will be back in college, and back doing what we normally, but where will i be?
in the futre where will i be?
fucking hell, this is fucking daft, it feels like this song i am listening to is asking me questions, its that type of song, "Do you...."
and strangly i can answer them and get real answers from it,
i feel like i am missing something, a missing piece, many people have said about this to me and they are probably right and so am i know what it is, but i dont know how to get it, and i hate the fact that i am running out of time with everything, there wont be a next time, this is the last time, and that feels shite, and it wont be long its gonna go past really quickally, and it is gonna be deverstating when it is over, then i will be worse off because i havnt found what i am looking for
and i hate being jelous, i am not normally jelous, well not on the surface but i am now and its bad cos that something i dont want to be, but the jelousy is cause by looking at other people and then looking at myself, and that is not good,
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i still didnt get across what i was trying to say, i never do and never can
i am going out now i am i am going to try to recinsile anything that i have left,
i hope it all goes well, i think i'm gonna have to say it cos i know that no one else is going to

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