i was thinking about this in my way home, just how i would put this down to words, its quite hard getting across what i want to say, cos im not even good at saying it let alone writing it,
you know theres always those 2 people that are destined to be with each other, you know there are the people you know who are always togaether, but they just dont know that they are going to be together, you know everyone has a set or 2 of them in thier groups, it happens very often and it is very easy to see,
before i went to college i only really like 2 girls, 2 girls that i would do anthing for, and 2 girls that where so beautiful that no other girls would come close to them,
but....oh well
since i have been to college, there has been 2 or 3, 3or 4 maybe, because there are so many differnt people you meet and you find people that you like, it is a lot easier to find someone that suits you, back in primary school, the one girl, i was too shy for anything to happen with her, so i thought, i'll wait for next time round, as i was going to a different school, new ppl
then there was her, just her for 5 years, and i wish i didnt , cos now that feels like a waste of time, yes it was a waste of time, cos that never got off the ground,
so then i thought, ill wait till the next time around, i.e college,
well that happend, things happened, i met a girl, that was great, but it wasnt in a way, there was the possability of progression with it, but it was all too much too soon, so that fell on its arse as quickily as it all started, gone away
that then turned into an impossible situation, which was beyond my control, which meant i had to look for someone else, i thought i did, but i didnt, that was just nothing, it really was,

------------------------------------

but i hated myself, because i would be over confident, because at times, things would be going really well, and i could picture the future, and then it would all fall on its face,
now recently, i havnt done that, because i know how much of a shit that it is, but that has made mee fall back, which is also a shit, but, well i shouldnt moan, its nice too see other people happy, the fact that they may not be right now is irelavent, the fact is they will be when they fianlly get together, yes i know it will, and it should,
its sad in my case really, what the outcome will be, but fuck me, its them who deserve happiness, thats just the sacrafise that i am going to have to make, well not make, just let happen, it may be hard, but its the right thing, thier happiness,
but still, i think back to things of the recent past, of recent conversations, a change in events could have made me the happiest man around, in 2 cases, but too late now, i'll just have to make the most of what i have
err.....
its not about what i want or wanted....
Once Again i am going to have to wait for the next time around, which seems so far away, and if i continue being at arms length all the time i'm not going to get anywhere

Last || Next