"and its more than i can bare, to watch the tears fall through your hair,
as you shake your head from side to side, you lie and you say your alright"
---------------------------------------
see i'm having that problem again,
not being able to say what i want to say, not being able to truly express the way i feel,
because its all full of Um's and Ar's
too much hesitation,
i'm just lucky really, when i do try and say things, you somehow understand what i'm trying to say, somehow....

i'm not trying to move the earths plates with the words i'm saying, i'm just trying to say what i mean,
and more often than not, i fail at it

the only strange thing about it is, i'm very good at mataphors,
which doesnt really help anything really, because the metaphors i use, most of the time are terrible ones,
terrible enough that it makes people laugh, and thats not whati'm after
like when i say something along the lines of "i was back and forth lie dick and puss"
thats fucking terrible
or when i explain that i was floating around the party like an unflushable turd
thats also fucking terrible

why do i come out with this shit?

maybe i shouldn't keep aiming for what i need to say, but possibly look back at certain things that i have said in the past, because in some cases, its been exactly what i wanted to say

"i find it hard to say what i mean, i dont know if they meant it but i know from what i've seen" (REF A.A.L Track 7)

"if you ever need an answer of a helping hand you see, because you, your my best friend, so just come to me" (REF A.A.L Track 2)

"i hope that i see you though it may cause me some pain, i dont care as long as your there,
you can do it again and again,
things arent like before but my feelings dont go away,
you could be so bad to me but i'd love you anyway" (REF Y.N Track 5)

"People change, cant you see?
but it wont ever matter, because you've got me" (REF A.A.L Track 8)

"All i want to be is wanted" (REF Y.N Track 8)
quite blatant that one

"Loving you is my weakness, and i'm just a fool, but i just dont know what else to do,
loving you's just a reflex, its crazy but true,
theres nothing i would not do" (REF A.A.L Track 10)
quite proud of that one

so it doesnt really make sense to me that i can say exactly what i am feeling in a lyric, in a song,
but not in real life,
whats the difference? its not that, its harder in person, because i've sung in front of poeple before,

i think its because i have had time to sit down and think about what i wnat to say
it woud be good if someone was patient enough to just sit there with me and wait for me to come out with the right thing to say
--------------------------------------
whats the best thing to be?
rich?
famous?

no

the best thing you can ever be is to feel wanted,

thats all that anyone wants, surely

i wish that on everyone

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